Friday, February 27, 2009

Sheath Cleaning Songs



To the tune of "If you're happy and you know it"...

If it's hanging and you see it lube your hands
If it's hanging and you see it lube your hands
If it's hanging and you see it
Grab it quick it's time to clean it
If it's hanging and you see it lube your hands.

If it's peely and it's crusty pick it off
If it's peely and it's crusty pick it off
If it's peely and it's crusty
and the smell is kind of musty
If it's peely and it's crusy pick it off

If his weenie has a beanie dig it out
If his weeny has a beanie dig it out
If his weiner has a beaner
Pull it out and he'll be cleaner
If his weenie has a beenie dig it out

Now he's happy and you know it wash your hands
Now he's happy and you know it wash your hands
It's a job that's kind of kinky
And now your hands are really stinky
But he's happy and you know it wash your hands.


Sing it to the tune of "Hello Mother, Hello Father" from camp song.

How's it hangin'?
So much cleaner.
Aren't you glad I
washed your wiener?
I'll admit it's
kinda creepy
that I had to stick my arm up in your pee-pee.

It was sticky.
It was gunky.
It felt icky.
It smelled funky.
It was cruddy,
it was crusty--
when you stuck it out, it creaked like it was rusty.

After half an
hour of toilin'
and of squirtin'
baby oil in,
you're as fresh there
as a daisy.
Either this means I love you or else I'm crazy!!!


An original composition by GottaRide, written on
company time. Who can control inspiration? Sung to the
tune of Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda:

Is it clean now
Near your udder?
Is it smooth now
Smooth as butter?
It's a chore that
I'm not keen on
I'm either something to be kicked
Or else to lean on

There's much crust there
'Tween your teatsies
More disgusting
Than your feetsies
I'll admit it's kinda scarey
To be reaching under you where it's not hairy.

It is black and kinda peely
Sometimes chunky, but ideally
It's a good thing, all in all
So you don't rub your tail raw upon the stall wall.

Now the mare folks
Have their own diddy
About cleaning their mare's titty
Hope you've had some slight enjoyment
As for me I might be facing unemployment!

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