To the tune of "If you're happy and you know it"...
If it's hanging and you see it lube your hands If it's hanging and you see it lube your hands If it's hanging and you see it Grab it quick it's time to clean it If it's hanging and you see it lube your hands.
If it's peely and it's crusty pick it off If it's peely and it's crusty pick it off If it's peely and it's crusty and the smell is kind of musty If it's peely and it's crusy pick it off
If his weenie has a beanie dig it out If his weeny has a beanie dig it out If his weiner has a beaner Pull it out and he'll be cleaner If his weenie has a beenie dig it out
Now he's happy and you know it wash your hands Now he's happy and you know it wash your hands It's a job that's kind of kinky And now your hands are really stinky But he's happy and you know it wash your hands.
Sing it to the tune of "Hello Mother, Hello Father" from camp song.
How's it hangin'? So much cleaner. Aren't you glad I washed your wiener? I'll admit it's kinda creepy that I had to stick my arm up in your pee-pee.
It was sticky. It was gunky. It felt icky. It smelled funky. It was cruddy, it was crusty-- when you stuck it out, it creaked like it was rusty.
After half an hour of toilin' and of squirtin' baby oil in, you're as fresh there as a daisy. Either this means I love you or else I'm crazy!!!
An original composition by GottaRide, written on company time. Who can control inspiration? Sung to the tune of Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda:
Is it clean now Near your udder? Is it smooth now Smooth as butter? It's a chore that I'm not keen on I'm either something to be kicked Or else to lean on
There's much crust there 'Tween your teatsies More disgusting Than your feetsies I'll admit it's kinda scarey To be reaching under you where it's not hairy.
It is black and kinda peely Sometimes chunky, but ideally It's a good thing, all in all So you don't rub your tail raw upon the stall wall.
Now the mare folks Have their own diddy About cleaning their mare's titty Hope you've had some slight enjoyment As for me I might be facing unemployment!